What “You” taught me
If you are tv series addictive especially you won’t miss some great quality pieces like “You”, Netflix original tv series.
****But if you had never watched it before, please click the series trailer link below before continue reading for your beautiful experience while you read my blog
You is an American psychological thriller television series. The series was very popular, making it has 2 seasons now and they just announce to continue on season three. The plot of the story in each season was about Joe Goldberg’s love story from the beginning to the end. Joe seems like another ordinary men, he is nice, polite and also good-looking.
However, what makes him different from others is his passion for his crush. It may be wrong to say his “passion”, to be correct, we should say “obsession”. When he met a girl that he like, he can do anything to impress his crush. It might sound normal because when we found somebody we like, we usually try to impress him or her too. But the way Joe did is way too different.
When he got the name of his crush, he will type her name into the famous search engine, Google. Then he starts to find her personal information online whether it be Facebook account or Instagram account. He plays the role of Sherlock Holmes, finding his crush’s home, workplace, her interest, , or even her relationship with friends.
Fond or Creepy
If you having a crush on someone what would you do? It is normal and cute if we secretly give a present or send a love letter to our crush. Hoever,if someday, you cross the line by over interfere our crush’s live, making he or she feel unsafe or uncomfortable. We may have to start to consider ourselves as a stalker. A stalker is a person who obsesses with victim too much. They invade the privacy of the victims’ lives, sometimes things can go wrong to abusive behavior like assaulting or murder. Stalkers usually cannot define what is right or wrong. They just try their best to pursue their goal by using the way they think it is correct.
To illustrate, in You series, Joe devotes himself to his crush. He can do anything that he believes it will make him a “perfect” soulmate for his girl. He did not care about any consequences after his bad behavior at all. As long as he still the best guy in the world for his girl, everything seems fine.
Stalking is not funny or cute thing, it can threaten our lives both in a physical and mental ways. Many victims had been diagnosed as depression or PTSD. It makes the victim feel paranoid and sometimes even cannot go back to the old routines.
From the studies of Paul Mullen, Michele Pathé, and Rosemary Purcell, we can categorize stalkers into five kinds which are…
The rejected stalker
The victim of a rejected stalker usually is someone who stalker had a close relationship with like ex-girlfriend or boyfriend. They start talking after they were rejected in their former relationship like broke up or rejected by their crush. The motivation behind their stalking is they want their relationship back or they just angry and try to get revenge.
The intimacy seeking stalker
Stalker in this group are lonely people, hence, they try to get in a relationship with others. They believe that shadowing their victim will help them with their desire. The victim can be from an intimate person like friends and colleagues to famous people like celebrities, singers, or actors that they obsess with till they want to go beyond only fans. Stalkers in this group can also have erotomanic, meaning that they felt like others fell in love with them.
The incompetent stalker
This kind of Stalkers will be the ones who lack social skills. They may come in a shy person, quiet person, or a person with Asperger or autistic condition. Their needs are they want to build a relationship with someone. It do not have to be in love but can be just friends.
The resentful stalker
Their motivations come from angriness because they were treated unfairly or persecuted by someone. Later on, they will turn angriness and into an act of revenge. They will use their bad experience as an excuse.
The predator stalker
They usually stalk victims because they want to satisfy their sexual needs and they enjoy being powerful over others. They tend to have a psychological disorder or sadistic condition, they usually end up with aggressive behavior with the victim.
For Joe Goldberg, he might be considered as the intimacy seeking stalker in my opinion. Because the series shows that he is an introverted person that has few friends. Also he fell in love with his crush since the first day he saw her. He has been spied her on the internet. Moreover, he followed her to her home, hoping that he will be a perfect match for her someday.
The common scene in the series is Joe usually finds his crush’s personal data via the internet. He uses those data he gets to know more about her and how she is going in every single day. Then he tries to impress his girl by doing things that she loves. He believes it will make him a perfect boyfriend for his crush.
Stalking is not just happen in real-life but also in the cyber world that people nowadays mostly spend time with. Cyberstalking refers to the stalking that involves the use of digital technologies in their process. Due to the rapid development of technology, stalkers themselves find the easier way to spy on their victims. When social media becomes an important part of people’s daily lives, it blurred the line of privacy. People now more expose their personal life on various platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Have you ever wonder about the things you post you make? Did you know that every post you make give a clue for a stalker to know more about you?
What makes you a perfect victim for stalker
Check-in is when you click the “add location “ button to let others know where you are right now on social media. Stalkers usually have a behavior that likes to follow their victims. In The You Stalkers usually have a behavior that keep spying and follow their victims in wherever he or she goes.
Keep updating where you are right now making it easier for stalker mission. They don’t have to put any effort to find our location because we just send a location to them directly.
Every single social media has a function for the user to set up their own privacy on data. For example, before we post something on Facebook, it will let you choose first about who can see your post. The first option is public, meaning that your post can be seen by anybody on Facebook. Second, your friends on Facebook and third are friends except… that you can choose whoever you do not want them to see your post. The most dangerous option that will put you at risk is the first one, public because the audiences of your post did not have to get an accepted friend request from you, all stalkers need to do is type your name on the search box, and then yes, they know everything.
Accept friend request
Social networks allow us to make news friends all the time. This may sound good but in fact, it can be very dangerous. Do you ever look up how many friends you got on Facebook? Somebody might found themselves have more than 1000 Facebook friends. The next question is “Do you know all of them”. Posting something online on your own account, you may think it safe. But think twice, those people who you click accept their friend request, might be your future stalker. You may share something personal with some people you do not even know their name before . In real life that we already face a risk about a stalker, doing this will double how risky you are.
Lastly, tracking our personal data on various social media platform is not the only way that cyberstalker using. There are others way like using search engines or even hack our data from the internet. The YOU series is not just for entertainment but it also taught us the dark side the cyber world. The more advancement of technologies, the more chance we can be a victim of a stalker. Therefore, the best solution is not deleting all the social media account but it is using social network carefully. We should understand their consequences and care more about our own privacy. We can prevent ourselves from stalker with something easy first. For example, Read carefully before you post or think before you click enter at the “accept” to a friend request.
Be careful, Joe may secretly watch you in the back right now…